We live in a world where any stupid thing you do could end up as a meme on social media somewhere. I think about this often because I make a lot of embarrassing mistakes, do a lot of stupid brain-dead things. I’m just like that.
I’ve reached an age where I’ve finally learned (mostly) (ok, partly) to just let the embarrassing gaffes go and move on, just grateful that no one was standing around at the time with a cell phone, a twitter account, and a mean streak! But it’s those mistakes that hurt people or do damage somehow, even potential damage, that haunt me. They keep me up at night. And I feel like I’ve had more than my usual amount of them recently. Not my best self lately, that’s for sure.
That’s when it’s good to go visit my mom. She’s at that stage of Alzheimer’s where you only have to wait 5 minutes, or less, and she’ll have forgotten the stupid thing you just said, did, were. Maybe I show up one day and she’s in a bad head space and I don’t handle it so well and I end up going home and having a bit of a cry. But the next time I show up, she has no memory of my blundering stupidity. She might be so thrilled to see me and for however long our visit lasts, I’m golden! Those days are precious.
Actually, all the days are precious, even the ‘bad’ ones. And I really am blessed to get to be here to share them with her.
Yes, maybe the best thing to do when I’m feeling stupid or embarrassed or like the biggest dumb-ass ever, is to spend some time with Mom. She has a real short memory and a really big heart and it can help me put things back in perspective, or at least give me a break from the self-flagellation. I’d like to be more like her (only, you know, while I can still remember what year it is and where I live!)