Rules for Dealing with Morons

  1. Assume everyone else is a moron. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt on this one can be costly and/or result in criminal charges when the frustration reaches unmanageable levels. It’s better to not end up in mandated anger management therapy.
  2. Assume you yourself are a moron. Before engaging with a someone about their ignorance/error/utter fuck-wittedness, check and double-check your facts to be sure you are not the moron. If you are in error, take it with humility and learn from the experience (thereby reducing the depth of your own moronism.) If you were correct all along, remain humble and proceed to rule #3.
  3. Recognize that it is not always necessary to point out to someone that they are a moron. They may be doing their best and would benefit from a bit of encouragement OR the stupid is so deeply entrenched that there can be no positive outcome no matter what you say. Preserve your personal dignity.
  4. If all else fails, breathe deeply and repeat your mantra: they ain’t worth it, they ain’t worth it, they ain’t worth it . . .

NOTE: A “non-refundable deposit” is part of the purchase price. It is not a fee you get to keep in addition to the purchase price, and everyone but you seems to know it, you moron!

5. Fuck rule #3.

Shout out to my partner in madness who suggested rules 1 & 2 to me before heading out to deal successfully with the moron in question with just the right amount of diplomacy, restraint and “Hey, fuck you, you moron!”   Well done, Randy!

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