A couple weeks ago, we drove SweetEsther (our 1982 Westfalia) to Vancouver and left her in some capable hands to have her engine overhauled. We did a little camping on the way and took advantage of the trip to visit with some of the friends we left behind when we moved up north to Vanderhoof.
I also got to squeeze in a much-to-brief Starbucks visit with my friend Mary, something I’ve been missing all year. She said the oddest thing to me. She said that I inspired her because I’m ‘living the dream’. This is, of course, the place where I jumped in and protested that it’s not the dream, that nothing has turned out the way I thought it would, that it feels some days like the challenges and disappointments are eating me alive …. she said it doesn’t matter. She said I had a dream and I didn’t just talk about it, I put everything on the line and took the chance to follow it, and that inspired her. She said that how it turns out is of less importance than the fact that I went for it.
I felt grateful and humbled and baffled by her words.
I’ve been reflecting on this these past few days while my husband and I come to grips with the idea that since this winter did not go as planned (I realize I’ve never explained about my husband’s ongoing saga of illness and injury that has stalled out the work on the house, but that’s for another post), we are almost out of money and the renos are barely begun. According to the plan, we were supposed to be deciding right now if we wanted to list the finished (or nearly finished) house or just take the summer to do our hippie drive across the country in our van. There were nothing but good options to choose from in ‘the plan’. Instead we are weighing how we will juggle a few basic budget-friendly upgrades with his physical limitations and eventual need for another surgical intervention. And me, I’m not getting any writing done. We’re kind of pathetic right now.
Still, she’s right, we are living the dream! We went for it, we changed our life, we took the chance and though it didn’t turn out the way we planned, it’s not over. It’s just different. And the things I’ve gained from this year of unpredictability, are things I wouldn’t trade for all the hardwood floors and temperate days I left behind. And here’s the thing about real dreams, you never know what will happen next. Truly, anything can happen just as long as you keep dreaming. So, Mary is right, it may not look the way I planned, but I’m still actively living my dream and it’s not over. It’s just a little weirder. ‘Cause it’s my dream, after all!
Dream until your dream comes true!